The maintenance crew paid a visit today. They showed up in full gear with all the necessary equipment and sound effects. It seems the chaos particles were wearing out so they came to spray us with new ones. We had to open all our drawers and cupboards, expose all our files, disclose all our secrets, remove all our clothes and gather naked in the courtyard. They said it was in our best interest. They said we didn't want to leave anything uncovered because chaos was important and good for us.
Several of my neighbors were singled out and taken to the deep chaos baths - apparently they were starting to normalize. They were dangerously approaching 2.3.
When they came to me, their instruments had no reading at all.
"Damn it, Jim, I think this thing is broken."
"Well, give her all you've got."
Eventually they ceded that my chaos level was just fine, just fine indeed. In fact they asked me to spend more time with my neighbors setting my good example. They tattooed an inspection mark on one of my appendages and said I could go back home. They asked if I was happy and I asked if they could widen my windows a bit, maybe I could see a little more. So they did - brought in the team, tore out the walls and reconstructed and widened my windows - then they painted them over black. I've managed to scratch through a tiny hole so far. I can see that they're redoing the landscape now. One set of workers arrives and very gently, very carefully removes everything. They carefully label and package and box it all up. Then another group arrives and just as delicately replaces it all with today's new and improved version. I guess you could say I'm happy here.
Further irrelevancies can be found at http://igorsapien.blogspot.com.
Buy me a beer already.